You Guilty Too

I apologize for my incorrect use of grammar; there was no other way to say it

During one of my college stints there was a horrible tragedy that occurred at another college in the city. Somebody was killed. Basically, there was a fight between students from the black school and the white school. The black students had the gun, the security guard started shooting, and a white student ended up dead. (there is no reason a regular fight should end up like that) Without getting into a lot of great detail about facts I’m not entirely sure of I will just say this. All three of the black students ended up being charged with murder. They were all found guilty.

One shot killed one person. It is not even possible for all three of them to commit that crime at the same time. (I heard the bullet matched the caliber gun of the security guard; inadmissible at trial……WTF???) It was because of this new twist in the law that basically says that if you are with them then you did it to. This got me to thinking…..

The right people must be held accountable to the right things. While any individual must be held responsible for their own actions, there is usually another party responsible through guidance and association. I cannot speak to random acts of violence; I am only referring to dealings inside of relationships. Any relationship where there are actually dynamics…..NOT violence.

Upon entry into any relationship that lives and breathes and grows you accept the individual AND…their inner circle. Do NOT be naïve. Everyone needs an inner circle of support from close friends and family. The problems arise when we encounter the dynamics or the ups and downs of the relationship and report to the inner circle. Before I continue, I must say that there are inner circles made of the finest materials and provide the right amount of support and slack to all of the persons involved. I would also have to say that is not usually the case….or so it would seem.

When relationships are reported on, it’s usually the bad stuff. Let’s just keep it real…We do tell people about the positive and good things that happen, but think about how good something has to be to be reported. Now think about how easy it is to talk about the mess ups….smdh. As a result, we destroy the jury of the inner circle as a whole. There is usually at least one person who understands the concept of “it’s probably not that bad”, but the circle as a whole usually takes evasive maneuvers.

When a foul mouth or bad wishes of a partner or participant in a relationship becomes actions and deeds, unless it’s really petty stuff, it’s coming from that inner circle too. Some inner circles take up petty recourse, but that is usually limited to personal decision making. Inner circles are involved when people make large points about life in the middle of an argument and start a vindictive agenda. Sure they said it, but it came from “them”. Need examples? Ok. Somebody goes through your things. That would be a personal decision. In the middle of an argument about the cereal somebody says you make everything about you and your happiness. $10 bet that your selfishness and arrogance has been confirmed by members of that inner circle. $20…Somebody takes a look at your cell phone messages. That is personal. Someone begins court proceedings with you involved in it. The inner circle is marching around with trumpets and megaphones. If you doubt the involvement of the inner circle just remember that your revolution will not be televised, and you can send me a shout out later.

When I was younger, I would have been tempted to relieve the inner circle of their responsibility because of the inevitable preponderance of negative info, but I’m older now, and that’s stupid. True inner circles are not established until at least the age of 28. Before that age, there are many friends and acquaintances that come and go. Around the age of 30, we lock our inner circle in for the long haul, and cry as we lose them over time. I said all that to say 2 things. 1) everyone in the inner circle has an inner circle and should recognize we all tell more bad than good. 2) the inner circle is familiar with the person and knows their characteristics, faults, traits, and tendencies; and makes a point to ignore them.

The truth about it is, when someone steps up their negative game to whole other level, their inner circle is in on it too. Now, we can apply the law where it actually makes sense. When it happens you can look at their inner circle and say you guilty too. (let at least 2 of those boys out)