Baby Where Did The Love Go?

Smdh. It’s a horrible place to be in. For the select few there is a path that allows them to meet that special person and go on to be that couple who celebrates 60 or 65 years together and while everyone else stands around and cheers. For everyone else standing around and cheering we have to go through trying to deal with different people and all of the stuff that comes along with them.

I guess the strange part about it is I believe that the people who stay together on the path of perfection have to deal with issues too…I guess it’s just the way they handle the issues when they appear. So is it the issues or the fortitude of the individuals? Don’t know the answer to that; it probably varies depending on the case in point. But there is one issue and resolution/conclusion that does not vary. It concerns the love in a relationship. When you have to question where it is or why it’s gone then it’s over.

Now that’s a very deep concept because I’m not talking about when feelings get hurt. I’m not talking about when someone doesn’t feel special at the moment. I’m not even talking about when there has been a breakdown in communication and everything is at a standstill. Those are all really bad times and difficult to deal with but it’s not the same thing as realizing the love is gone. That’s different all together.

When the love is gone that really means it was never there. There may have been some good feelings, optimism, great conversation, and a side order of lust but those things fade and leave holes. Love is what prevents the recession of those initial emotions from leaving holes and empty places in our relationships.

People are real quick to say they love you because of all the emotions and hormones and feelings that surface at the beginning. You will know if they really love you when you still feel it through the fights, misunderstandings, mistakes, mishaps, and just dumb stuff. That mushy stuff when it’s all good ain’t love.

Everyone who celebrates the old couple for being married so long while simultaneously realizing they will never make that many anniversaries knows that feeling of the love being gone. Either they lost it for somebody or somebody lost it for them. The truth about it is, if it ever got lost it was never really there.

Other Side of the Fence

Ok…They say that someone got fooled because they thought the grass was greener on the other side. Heard that before? Sure you have. It’s a cliché that references a stupid cow or at least a cow who made a mistake. Ok…but on the other side of what? It would have to be a fence. They don’t put walls in pastures. What’s the difference between a wall and fence? You can see through a fence. That means one of two things. Either the cow can’t see the grass right in front of his/her face or the grass is too far away to make an accurate assessment.

I can go with the scenario about the grass being too far away to get it right. We all know about that…like when you see someone at Wal-Mart who looks real good until you get close or even that car you thought you wanted until it passed you by and you saw the ugly rear end. Those things were difficult to evaluate because of distance. So I could see how a cow may be fooled by something far away. I know I have been fooled before.

As far as the cow looking at the grass right at his/her feet; there are several things that must go right and that is where the problems unfold. It is very hard to get everything right when it comes to major decisions. We usually just count it all good if there is any good in our results. Think about it. In order to make a good decision you have to identify a good goal, a good strategy, execute that strategy almost flawlessly, actually achieve that good goal, and do it in the good time that you have. Many things can go wrong when you need so much good stuff to go right. That’s why we settle for some semblance of success to which we toot our own horn, get the big head, and in many instances offer hollow testimonies about powers we don’t fully understand. (example) The faulty and frighteningly empty FB testimony.

But none of the stuff I mentioned is bad because those are the things that we go through on our way to being smarter cows. By the processes and failures and life lessons we start to understand to not like something until we see it up close. We learn not to gloat just because something good happened. We learn to just hold on and see what the end is going to be like before we start celebrating. There is something else we learn too…

For those who become wise enough to, on a consistent basis, make good decisions there comes a time when you regret being in possession of that kind of “wisdom”. Believe me when I report to you this lesson in life: A time in life will come where you do actually know that the grass is greener on the other side but for some reason you can’t get over or through the fence. What are you going to do about it? What would you tell that cow to do? The truth about it is, you will learn what kind of cow you have been when you taste the grass in the pasture where you set your a$$.

P.S. Somebody help me with this latch.