He Won’t Tell You

At a certain point you have to get past the expectations of meeting mold breakers or angels from on high and recognize that people are just people. Sinners whether they know it or not. Jerks and infidels if given an opportunity. And a host of other words that I save for my private rants when I’m alone. I am convinced that the rank of file of the failed relationship militia is not a savage voluntary fighting machine but a cast of bruised and broken draftees who would just as soon defect to the other side rather than continue to fight. My fear is that expectations delivered the draft notices and those same expectations will continue to renew some people’s tour; whether they are passed retirement age or not.

Please forgive me….I have to pause and give a moment to those expectations.

No one can live up to anybody’s expectations. We have all been exposed to what we perceive to be perfection and in our minds our expectations are based on those things. Often times, anger or a trying time is inflamed by a failure of one party to respond in a way that lives up to the standards of the other party. Check it out. “If you really cared you would have…”, “I can’t believe that you didn’t…”, “If I knew then what I know now…” All of these statements are rooted in the flaw of early expectations and setting standards when watching and waiting would have been a better course of action. Stop making things difficult!

Anyway…like I said earlier people are just people. Since I can’t speak for women I can only speak for men so here it is. (Takes deep breath)…Let’s keep it short and simple. Ladies: He won’t tell you. Don’t get me wrong, there are certain things that will be talked about, I’m just saying that there are many instances where your man is just not going to say anything. It’s complicated because there are many reasons, but here are a few that are most always applicable: it involves emotions, he is hurt, he didn’t notice, he bottled it up, he is scared you will get mad, or man pride is in effect. Because everyone is different your guy may have his particular reasons for whatever but I’m just offering a generalization.

It’s funny (sometimes) because I often hear men referred to as dogs by women. Fine. Let’s use that example. I am a dog owner and lover (and I cheered for Michael Vick). I have two named Moses and Sampson. (Godly names for such devious animals!!) Before I got Moses, I read several books and articles about Akitas. I was amazed when so much of what the books said proved to be true. It was almost like they knew my dog when they wrote it. Then I thought about it…they did. He had some traits that were just his personality alone but for the most part they were right on point. It really helped me to know what to do when he needed to know his place or when he wouldn’t listen to certain things. Sampson was the byproduct of Moses running away for four days and getting it in! Akita/Pit Bull and there was no manual. Not only was his head huge, but it was very hard and while he possessed many characteristics of his rolling stone daddy, I had no base of information. No help…at some points no hope. So a set of Broyhill furniture, a camcorder, and all of the carpet later I can appreciate having some basic knowledge of what I am dealing with.

There are enough men and experienced women to provide anyone looking for some section of the man manual. It will not tell you every issue that may present itself but it will let you know certain things and that way you can know what you are dealing with. The truth about it is, this is a very important section…he won’t tell you.