Searched All Over

Like I’ve said before I’m a musician and I’m a church guy AND I’m straight. Not trying to offend anyone but we are who we are and I thought I needed to make the point because I know what I see. I had a conversation with my preacher about it when we were looking for a fill in one Sunday and it was funny because he told me that I was the one that was out of the ordinary. Go figure. But anyway the song “Nobody Greater” has this part where it says “Searched all over…..couldn’t find nobody….” Let’s just stop right there because that’s the part that ‘got’ me to thinking.

In our personal dealings I would say that the search is the best and most dreaded aspect of a relationship. One disturbing part is the fear that arises from the thought of being unsuccessful. People shut down instead of search for fear of not finding. Another scary aspect is finding someone who wasn’t worth the search. And still another more frightening block to searching is finding someone and then being let down after you have already invested.

Invested is a funny word because it immediately causes us to think of money.  Money is funny because unless one party isn’t working it all comes out in the wash….or unless somebody just doesn’t want to be an active participant. (On stage) “I know we have some ride-a-longs in the house!” But money is the least of your investments when it comes to relationships and any other matter of the heart. The only time we worry about the money is at the end of everything when we are broke. But I promise you are more likely to get some more money before you are able to heal from the loss of the other investments. The other investments include things such as time and travel destinations. Time cannot be retrieved and in many instances destinations are scarred by having been there before with someone else. The other investments also include hopes and dreams which can only be birthed again once they are shattered.

Finding someone who wasn’t worth the search is probably the most trivial matter because it occupies time that should be spent continuing the search. It’s almost always happens that when we make a personal stop along the railway of relationships, we are going to spend some time there even if we have a feeling that we are not at our true destination. This is the trivial matter but it is also the one that discourages many from actually searching. It is the aspect that breeds the most frustration.

And lastly there is that first fear of being unsuccessful in the search process. Being unsuccessful could be the result of many things. Maybe not being in the right place at the right time. Maybe finding someone who is already taken. Maybe rejection is found. Maybe the standards are set amazingly high. Whatever the reason, the thought of undertaking the search process and not finding anyone is enough to scare some people away. That’s scary too.

But the truth about it is, the most frightening thing would be to NOT be able to say that I searched all over. That is what makes the search the best part. It takes away the regrets.