Facebook Walkers- This category is the largest one. It consists of the casual facebooker. The person who uploads some pics and makes a few comments. The person who posts decent responses to the comments of facebook friends. On occasion, people in this category do vent and respond emotionally, but in most circumstances it’s a passing phase and life begins anew on the next day with calmer posts. Facebook walkers check up on old friends and people they think are attractive. They keep up with current events, post links, participate in silly games, and generally use FB for what it is for. The facebook walker may not do any of these things. They may only log in every week or so, but even the most casual facebook user would fall into this category. These facebook walkers stroll about facebook as a social media participant sometimes looking for fun, sometimes looking to make a point, sometimes to talk too much, and sometimes to even solicit responses. They are usually the most innocent creatures even though they may stray and become mischievous from time to time.
Facebook Talkers- These people begin their journey as facebook walkers, but the amount of information coupled with the compulsion to flap lips (gossip) is too much to bear. Some facebook walkers become gremlinized. They indulge themselves in the late night hours with the juicy morsels of innocent facebookers who make posts. The innocents do not know they are turning weak walkers into evil facebook talkers, so they bear no responsibility for feeding them. The greedy newly emerged facebook talker, somehow immune to the rays of the sun, bursts into the new day with only one mission. The mission is to spread the news to the most inappropriate people before the next feeding. These are horrid little creatures and should be called out for their atrocities before they attack others. Do not be fooled by these small but rabid beasts. They will tell you that the transmission of the information was accidental or done by another, but again I stress to not be fooled. They lie. These hellions are found hiding in every corner of life. They could be people you once trusted, church folks, peers, and even family members.
Still the progression worsens.
Facebook Stalkers- This last and final category is the most dangerous. At first glance they appear to be facebook talkers. They exhibit all of the signs of the talkers but there is one awful trait that sets them apart. They need hosts. This is an awful trait because not only is the attention unwanted and bothersome, but it is focused and can become scary. These are the people that text and call strangers just because their number was on the info. These are the people that respond most inappropriately to pics and post indecencies to the wall and inbox of their hosts. They do not understand no. The facebook stalker, because of the facebook talker stage, will use information to get close to the host. Once entertained, any effort to rid them of the parasite will result in immediate attack upon the host by the facebook stalker. They may even try to friend your acquaintances and family. Not only should these bandits be called out, but they should be unfriended and reported. The situation can get out of hand quickly. The longer the stalker is attached, the harder it is to free the host. Remember, love (even FB love) can be scary, but is never creepy.
The truth about it is, there are facebook walkers, talkers, and stalkers. Examine yourself. You are either cute and fuzzy or a monster from the bowels of the ugliest purgatory raising hell in the life of people who don’t want you around. (hint, hint)
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