Tell Someone Who Is Listening

Nothing happened to me to make me get to thinking about this one. Sometimes I write what I think about and sometimes I think about what I write...I guess.  I can say that I immediately began to think of times where I tried to say or convey important ideas and never quite believed that the person or entity I was speaking to even heard me at all. I also thought that in the end, either way, there was some good and bad associated with being heard and not being heard.

First let me say this…the first example that came to mind was my Dad and my daughter. I love them both dearly but it is with great trepidation that I must report the following: if you tell them anything while they are watching television they will at the very end of your heartfelt monologue turn to you with the utmost concern and say “huh?”  LOL! I couldn’t say anything without saying that.

(Shortly after the laughter cramps subside and the tears ease) I also had other serious thoughts about that ‘tell someone who is listening’ thing because I couldn’t decide what the ideal situation was. I honestly struggled with the whole “I need to say something and you need to be listening vs. I don’t care if you were paying attention or not” Since one way seems so much more vile in its inception I’ll start with that one.

At certain times in life moments arise that I’m titling “I need to say something and you need to listen.” Often it is just about the time a decision will be made. We have all or should have heard the term ‘cry for help’ and that is basically what I’m saying. When a true ‘cry for help’ rings out an answer or an ignored call has a bearing on the decision making process of the one calling. Whatever happens there is only one constant. We can blame ourselves for not listening. We will probably have to deal with not being available at that time. We may regret not being in place to comfort or offer input. But the ultimate decision lies with the decision maker. Whatever they do in the end whether good or bad they have this one thing to say. “I told you.” Many times the person talking is just looking to get it out. I think about all the times I murmured stuff under my breath only to say “nothing” when asked. I think about the times when questioned and my response was “I told you.” I remember after fights as a small kid thinking “I told him.” I recall those times where I pushed by saying to myself “You told them so you gotta do it now.” Sometimes the ultimate goal is to say it. It becomes the other person’s responsibility to be paying attention. “I told you” gives peace, comfort, and security (false or not) to the person who had to say it.

It really didn’t get much further along than that because I realized that all of those times were the same times as “I need to say something and you need to listen.” Each one of those moments and happenings would have been better served by being heard. One thing I thought of, made up, or heard somewhere is that not having a voice is the start of all wars. There is no reason to fight or battle about anything other than getting some point across. So when I go back and think about it: I might not have angrily bitten my tongue and waited to drop the hammer later on. No one really asks too many questions when they already know. I probably wouldn’t have gotten thrown off of the school bus if those kids had heard me say, in so many ways, to leave me be. I would have been able to draw my motivation from a better place if I had taken the time to make sure I was gaining a level of understanding instead of personifying a steam roller.

I did come across a better chunk of information that brought me back home though. Even though they weren’t listening…when my dad and daughter say “huh” it’s my love that makes me start over from the beginning with minimal complaining, a deep breath, and a sigh…that’s the truth about it.